It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
