Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.

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(304): I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine. http://tfl.nu/cm6i

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(479): View more from Arkansas

hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

what?

(479): View more from Arkansas

your penis

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(479): hey, can i borrow that thing you never use? (1-479): what? (479): your penis http://tfl.nu/2nga

Replies (11) Good night (1367) Bad night (3678)
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(219): View more from Indiana

she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'

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(219): she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs' http://tfl.nu/aa98

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.

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(910): He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work. http://tfl.nu/wbkv

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(315): View more from New York

I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours

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(315): I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours http://tfl.nu/z9bp

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(630): View more from Illinois

I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle

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(630): I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle http://tfl.nu/8rh4

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate

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(920): So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate http://tfl.nu/3qfe

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(206): View more from Washington

There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�

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(206): There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.� http://tfl.nu/3ssu

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(631): View more from New York

The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time

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(631): The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time http://tfl.nu/yanl

Replies (3) Good night (1179) Bad night (501)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday

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(613): Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday http://tfl.nu/1nci

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(845): View more from New York

YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE

(1-914): View more from New York

YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.

(845): View more from New York

I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER

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(845): YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE (1-914): YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING. (845): I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER http://tfl.nu/t573

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(416): View more from Toronto

I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me

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(416): I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me http://tfl.nu/whcm

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(225): View more from Louisiana

The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.

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(225): The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night. http://tfl.nu/csqe

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable

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(630): I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable http://tfl.nu/z2xr

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?

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(616): I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day? http://tfl.nu/5vcx

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