moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.