He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
