Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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