My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I will pee on everything he values.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
