You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
