and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
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He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
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I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
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