tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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