the condom got lost in my hair
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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