you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
