I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Welp...herpes.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
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