I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
