I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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