i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
