What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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