I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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