I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
