i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
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Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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