how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
