too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize