you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
