Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
