He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
