are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
