On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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