I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
