If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
