im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
