The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
