You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
