I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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