just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?