if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.