I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize