do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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