I need help removing her.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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