All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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