normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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