Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
