im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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