Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
