i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
