Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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