Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
