I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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