You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
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I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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