Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
