This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
His hands were made for my vagina.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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