doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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