I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize