Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She's just so happy...and so naked.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
