Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize