just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize