I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
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Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
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You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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