Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?